shaking off halos*

it's almost the new year.

i've never really understood the hype over every new year. it's really just another day if you ask me. but nevertheless it's become the perfect time for reevaluating, reprioritizing and recreating. RE(anything)--i like that concept. that we can choose to do, act, be something different than we've been all of our lives. never being imprisoned to the choices or people we've been in the past. to be honest, i could use a "new year" at least once a month.

so as i've recently set forth to reevaluate and reprioritize my life i realize that my need for improvement is vast. too many resolutions from years past have turned idle, collecting dust in the back of my mind. i would love to resolve to go back to school and stay until it's done. i wish i could resolve to finally lose the 20 pounds still lingering from my last pregnancy. or have a homemade meal on the table every night. or spend more quality time with the boys. or put actual effort into being more spiritually in tune.

et cetera, et cetera.

but those goals, while seemingly small, are in reality a bit too lofty to last all year long. i'd be bound to fail for sure.

so i'll start small by simply improving my eyesight first. rid my mind of all failed resolutions and work on broadening my perspective. attempt to recognize the little nuances throughout the day that make our little lives worth everything.

and just be. be content. be patient. be happy.
it'll be near impossible to continually keep this eternal perspective with all of life's stressors that are constant in our view's forefront. but by the small effort made i may just change a little of who i am, what i do, and what i choose. baby steps. that sounds like a good goal for 2009.

(even though by the looks of the disintegrating back molar i found in the bathroom mirror this morning, starting to floss everyday would be a much more practical goal for me. but i guess there's always next year. [and overpriced dental implants])

*a favorite of 2008: tv on the radio: family tree


Jen said...

I agree, I don't understand what the big deal is anyways. It just a year change.
Maybe it's because I'm not out partying the night away.

I am also horrible at my resolutions. But it is nice to reflect & renew.

jaime said...

beautifully said.


sarah said...

this may be one of my favorite things you've ever written.

the little nuances are what make the effort, the strain, the stress all worth it. that little boy playing in the shadows. that moment could've been missed so quickly - but aren't you glad you saw it, saw its beauty and magic, pushed the pause button for a moment and captured it. we need that stuff.

p.s. school's really not all that great. you can live vicariously through me and my freak outs about midterms, finals, papers, reading assignments, homework, frickin expensive textbooks, etc. etc. just focus on the flossing, kays. floss.

brady lady said...

i agree school sucks, i finished my degree two years ago and i have yet to do anything with it. concentrate on the important things in life, most important family. when you do this nothing else matters. happy new year kayleen.

Emily Ruth said...

Yeah. School? I've got enough credits to have my masters. Do I even have an undergrad? Nope. After changing my major 3 times, I'm burned out, with a year to go that I know I'll never finish.
Also, I've been trying to get a photo of Mo playing with his shadow for=ever! I can't do it without it being too dark or nonexistant (w/ flash). You've got skills-that's all I can say.

Camille said...

Those dental implants really are overpriced. PK's three front teeth would pay off my car and buy me a new one, plus fuel for a year. Floss, Kayleen. Floss.

diana rose said...

here's to baby steps and better dental hygiene.

angela hardison said...

beautiful words, by the way (i know i'm a bit late to comment).

and i love those photos.