i would say i've been busy, but i'd be lying. a month bout of pms - yeah, that math wasn't adding up for me either - and the sudden disenchantment with putting any of my authentic self out on display would probably fall closer to the truth.
or i'm just lazy. (i've been referred to as emotionally lazy on more than one occasion, so maybe that's it. feeling things, ugh. i'd rather not.)
somewhere in between last week's insomnia and the most random burst of online research to find the perfect pair of jeans, i fell upon this video essay by k center, found via annelise. from the title alone, i was fully prepared to make fun of it - we do what we're good at - but instead my body betrayed me and started to cry one of those ugly, choking uncontrollably, snot-faced cries. and then the panic set in that i must be pregnant. ps, i'm not (can i get a what what).
maybe i was a little hormonal. or maybe it was simply that her sentiments weren't lost on me . either way, it caught me off guard and i knew that i was in pretty bad shape when i could hear spencer laughing uncomfortably from across the room before asking me if i was alright.
and i was. better than alright even. and that, my friend, is a good place to be.