i've failed to recognize the Glory that surrounds us

we went to see the tree of life last weekend,
and it was beautiful.


shot through a broader scope than that of our standard idea of cinema,
it's a montage of picturesque scenes loosely depicting the story of Us.
with no real resolve or reason,
because none is needed.

a nameless mother and father,
nameless brothers.
and at times in my own self-reflection,
i am all of them.

  

balance and edit and edit and balance

when the poet's sentiments are overly visible,
the audience may become uncomfortable.
by writing simply and only about what is there,
the audience is drawn into the poet's world.
this is where the most important aspect of the sense of beauty lies.

naoto fukasawa (objectified)

my resolution for 2011 is to incorporate this idea more into my daily life. balance and edit. edit and balance.
happy new year.

happy, happy 8

day 34

we've been married 8 years today.

we went to see last train home as part of our celebratory date and i'm reminded of how easy our lives are.
and how crippling those eases can be if we let them.

so much for superman

day 7

we just came back from the documentary film, waiting for superman,
and despite my audible gasps and fist shakes towards the screen, i kept a level head and made sure to take all of the facts in with a grain of salt.
if keeping a level head means i stood to applaud my girl, michelle rhee, when she stated,

There's this ... willingness to turn a blind eye to the injustices that are happening to kids every day in our schools, all in the name of harmony among adults.

bam!
(i might have thrown a fist bump in her direction when i went to sit down.)

then i got home, opened my computer and read from a random review,

waiting for "superman" is the movie version of all those books and white papers about flaws in the U.S. educational system that we're generally too illiterate or lazy to read,

which of course threw me off my high-horse and brought me back down to the reality that any call to arms is lost on me after a few days.


moral of the story: gravity will always win.

waiting for superman - 7.5/10 stars

amen

photo by spencer

in reflection, it will sometimes overwhelm me at how innately connected we all really are.
and i'd be willing to bet that the way i speak about and treat others will be a source of shame and regret when i'm actually able to comprehend just how real that connections is.

day 86

i'm about to get religious all over you (whaaat?), which i try to never do for the simple fact of how uncomfortable it makes me feel. but much like my mother's social filter, mine is thinning with every day i age and taboo topics once deemed too uncomfortable to speak on are now a load i'm about to heave off my chest.
okay, heave is probably dramatic. i'm not there yet. maybe i'll just start by shifting its weight back and forth a bit.

the church's response to the most recent backlash:

"...we believe that our purpose in life is to learn, grow and develop, and that God’s unreserved love enables each of us to reach our potential. ...ultimately, we are free to act for ourselves.
obviously, some will disagree with us. We hope that any disagreement will be based on a full understanding of our position and not on distortion or selective interpretation. The Church will continue to speak out to ensure its position is accurately understood." (more here)

amen.

it is these these types of things that strengthens my testimony in us as a people. it's just too bad that so many members have taken it upon themselves to fill an already appointed position as mouthpiece for the church. the vile hatred you have spewed everywhere does not speak for me as a member, so please stop speaking in a "we, as a church" manner. 

these opinions have been brought to you by just one member of the church of jesus christ of latter day saints and may or may not reflect the opinions of its church officials or its other members around you. thank you.

   

"i wonder if her hair would be white"

                                                   kehl springs - az '10

day 82

get low.
one of the best movies i've seen in years.

  

be awesome

found here

day 59

even more inspiring than your award winning performance on glee, dr howser. well done.

  

A is for apple

 day 27

s has started working out of town again.*
which means these letter blocks - dumped across our bedroom floor days ago - might have been stepped over more than once. (or twice.)
and it means i just finished watching lost in real time. hey now!

is it in vain that i still hope john locke - now cerberus, aka man in black - will be the victor? the brother just wants to go home.


*he is missed horribly. i fail as a single mother.

 

i swear that [her] feet are wheels

day 14.

all material in nature,
the mountains and the streams and the air and we,
are made of light which has been spent,
and this crumpled mass called material casts a shadow,
and the shadow belongs to light.

-- louis kahn

i'm sure i've mentioned my love for my architect; a son's journey before.

if i haven't, i should have. its premise makes complete sense to me now more than ever.

 

the telling gets old

day 4.

i bought sunscreen for the kids this week. bah, it's that close.
let's all wear our cardigans and sweater tights one last time and try not to think about it.

today the boys played out back in perfect nonweather - not hot, not cold, so perfect you don't even notice it. - just long enough for me to watch the second half of the bachelor: the women tell all (appropriately titled) on hulu. - i've never seen an episode, but after a conversation about it with a friend, my interest piqued.
wow.
i have to believe they're acting because the alternative is way too embarrassing for me to take.

jake, you're gross. rico suave gross.
go team rozlyn.

i admire a girl who's not afraid to be ugly

the only thing more depressing than the day after christmas was the end of last month's dopplegänger week on facebook. i think i laughed more in that week than i ever have. (with you. always with you, never at you.)

there were far too many fantastic lookalikes to mention them all, - who knew i had so many friends that resembled heidi klum in a bikini on the beach? weird. - but the votes are in and the dopplegänger crown goes out to aaron h as john candy's character, barf, from spaceballs.

you win. congratulations.

ah, that blessed, blessed week has proven to be revealing of all of us and i find your confidence astounding, friends. - and for that i salute you.

as for us? well...
our parents have clearly failed us.

mr. and mrs. reed

sadly, fb has peaked and now there's nowhere for any of it to go but down. i don't sign on that thing to k.i.t., so what am i supposed to do with my time now? - tend to home and family? school work? (suddenly, and embarrassingly, start posting to my blog every day?) don't be ridiculous.

the silver lining of it all, as with every bout of monotony-induced depression, is the amount of movies i've recently ingested. i love nothing more than a good movie binge and rachel getting married was by far the most surprising of the lot: an a cappella version of unknown legend? my heart be still, i think i'm in love.

tunde, i'm feeling you. don't ever change.


**these photos you see here have been pirated....so what? big deal.

valentines is for lovers

what do you do when valentines lands on match day?


this is one of the best things i've seen in a long time. brought a tear to the eye.
(found via dave t - who, completely off topic and quoting my husband, "...is so uninhibited he could be a scout leader." ah scouts, how i loathe thee, equally life ruining as basketball season.)

"your resentment is delicious"

i really hope everyone caught the preview of Glee last night. [from the amount of facebook updates about it, i'm sure everyone did.]

from the creator of niptuck and casting jane lynch -- it's gotta be good then, right?
... any show that ends with a perfect rendition of journey is better than good. (i haven't been this excited about tv since the short-lived masterpiece, sons & daughters [r.i.p.])

mark your tivos for fall.

they prefer to wear capes

we watched El Orfanato* this past weekend and it completely ripped my insides apart.


blame it on the movie or on the hormones (or on the fact that i've been watching an embarrassing amount of TLC's baby story), but i've been consumed with thoughts of how short a time we have with our children as they are now. how impossible it feels to teach them everything you hoped you'd be able to. and how young in life you feel yourself, that at times teaching them anything feels a lot like teaching lessons you've yet to learn. -- and i hate feeling like a fraud.

the impending arrival of our baby girl has only compounded these feelings for me.

i wake in the mornings with unrealistic fears that she'll emerge from the womb wearing pink nail polish, feeling like she got jipped because her mother's unable to teach her how to put her hair in a cute little side pony or how to throw an out-of-this-world princess party.

but i can teach her how to be a cape-wearing superhero and how to hold her own when life slaps her in the face. -- because backbone was the best gift my mother ever gave to me. (the most i could hope for is to be able to regift that to my own daughter.)


*of course i could refer to it as The Orphanage, but where's the fun in that?

CATS! gone wild

we dressed up in our finest and headed to gammage last night to enjoy a purring redition of CATS! meeeoooow.

picture by owen.

from what i could tell, it was a solid story line of introducing about 50 different cats by way of song. cat after cat after cat. after cat. and then a grand finale of lyrical instruction on the proper etiquette on how to address a cat, should you happen to meet one on the street. -- well didn't i feel like the fool. here i am with no idea that we should be addressing cats at all. how embarrassing.

there was a lot of cat kicking crotch shots, steam rollers and cartwheels happening on stage throughout the whole night. all without one of those cats missing a single techno-inspired beat. i tell you, those jellicle cats are crazy.

my sister lovingly gifted us with the tickets to see it. it was really, really thoughtful of her. and by thoughtful...i mean she has absolutely no idea who we are. CATS!? really? (i thought we were better friends than that.)

i think the 9 year old girl in front of me on the way out of the theater said it best..."i just thought it was gonna be more of a love story or something." oh sweetie. if you had prepped yourself with youtube clips and comedic reviews like i had you would of been a bit more prepared for the disappointment. next time.

hi my name is ryan

phoenix film festival. april 2nd. support your local artists.

I may or may not have been at the midnight showing of twilight

I was. And it was everything I expected it would be. (maybe a bit funnier than expected, though. [which may not have actually been on purpose.])

I thought bella's and charlie’s characters did great. there really couldn't of been a better bella, so bravo kristen stewart.

It was hilarious to see mike newton, jessica, awkward little asian boy, etc. played out on the big screen. -- that might of been my favorite part.

most of my qualms with the movie had to do with edward. he kind of spoke like he was mentally disabled at times (i mean the whole time), which had my secondhand embarrassment radar on full alert. so uncomfortable to watch.

i think a few over the top details could have been presented in a more subtle tone. For example:

the cullen’s skin color? – it can be pale white without looking like they've dunked their heads in a bucket of flour.
The “sparkling” skin in sunlight? – umm. kind of threw up in my mouth a little bit. emmet's velour track suit? -- oh please tell me someone else noticed that.
edward flying through the tops of the trees and running with bella on his back? – wow. that was the point of the movie when I became completely embarrassed for myself that this was the same book that I’ve read more than once. More than twice. (more than three times.) utterly embarrassing. but i guess that's why they call it a guilty pleasure, because i cannot admit to loving it without laughing out loud at myself.

with all that being said, it did satisfy every expectation I had for it. (other than needing a couple more kissing/sexual tension scenes. [we got jipped on that part.]) It was good. If you love the books, then you’ll like the movie. If you didn’t love the books, well then you probably won't be seeing the movie anyway, so it really doesn't matter.

happy twilighting.

the coward robert ford

has anyone seen the assassination of jesses james yet? we ordered ourselves a little pay-per-view at the cabin and i was pleasantly surprised. it's easily one of the prettiest filmed movies i've ever seen. and after a little research (clicking the link on imdb counts as research, okay.) i found out that the same cinematographer also filmed the village. oh be still my heart, i think i'm in love.

i went to see that movie twice in the theatres. i never do that. ever. the village was beautiful. everything about it was beautiful. the colors, the mood, the acting, the dialogue. everything. (i know that a lot of people didn't like it because of the unrealistic ending, but i guess i'm more concerned with how a film makes me feel than the validity of it's plot.)

i felt the exact same way while watching the assassination. as soon as it ended i wanted to press rewind and watch it again.

it's definitely not a western in the traditional sense. it's dark, psychological and filled with feelings of paranoia and betrayal. i didn't really feel like there was a clear cut protagonist or antagonist, i just felt badly for both bob ford and jesse james. i found it easy to empathize with them, and came away from the film disliking both of the men just as much as i liked them. but i think that may have been the point. you start to feel differently about the sins of men when you see them through the sinner's eyes. it's easy to condemn their acts, but much more difficult to condemn the men.

in the end, i felt there was a lack of compassion for *robert ford. i don't think that old man needed to shoot and kill him. the remorse and shame he felt at the end of his life was probably far worse than death itself.

*hats off to you, casey affleck. your older brother can't even touch your acting skills.

keep your eyes open

i found myself sitting on the couch today. middle of the day, just sitting. house clean, laundry done, babies sleeping. nothing but time.

my natural reaction was to start a sewing project, which inevitably, would of led to a long night of cursing my pfaff's existence. but not today. for now, i'd rather just sit.

time feels calm and my eyes feel open.

a movie, recommended by my brother-in-law, helped keep us company this past saturday afternoon. and i've been thinking about it ever since. it's been dubbed as a modern-day musical with none of the typical cliches. the execution and dialogue is so convincing that it feels more like watching a documentary, rather than actors. it's been completely stripped down and has all of the charm of any low-budget film. it's filled with unpretentious performances and surprisingly ends with moral backbone. most things in life don't even end this right. once.